"Those who dream by night, in the dusty recesses of their mind awake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamer of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible." -T.E. Lawrence (Lawrence of Arabia)

Posts tagged ‘PLD’

Dolly Parton Would Be Proud

You thought this post was about boobies, didn’t you? It is national Love Boobies month after all, (Breast Cancer Awareness). But alas – I have tricked you again. This post is not about boobies.

It’s about work. Work in America, specifically. When, exactly, did a 9-5, 40 hour a week job turn into 9-6 with an unpaid lunch and mandatory overtime? And why, exactly, is this ok?

And please, let me specify at this time, that in this post I am specifically speaking about jobs at large corporations. The mom and pop stores, and small businesses that I love to support are not included in this tirade, they have their own weaknesses and strengths and maybe I’ll address those in a future post.

Now, back to the issue at hand. It used to be, back in the day (I don’t know when, exactly, my family has always been overachievers) that the standard work week was 40 hours. That meant you spent 40 hours at work, not 40 hours working. The most common hours were 9 am to 5 pm. Most people had an hour off for lunch. An hour they got paid for. They had two weeks of vacation to take with their families and paid sick days. If people weren’t exactly happy in these jobs, at least they could pay their bills, had paid benefits, didn’t feel they had to come to work sick to make ends meet, and didn’t have to spend a huge amount of time in an office they didn’t like. Then they reached the required age and years of service and they retired and got a gold watch and a pension. A ‘thank you’, if you will, for years of loyal service to the same company. Many people spent their whole lives, from right out of college, with the same company. And there was nothing wrong with that.

These days it seems like just the opposite is true. Most people my age have had a plethora of jobs over their short lives, myself included. My full job history includes 10 different companies and over 15 different positions at those companies. People are working longer and longer hours just to pay the bills. It’s not uncommon in this day and age to be a two income family, and not by choice. In many families both adults have to work just to make ends meet, especially if you have children. Many people have Vacation/Sick days, meaning if they take a day off work when they don’t feel well it takes hours away from their vacation time. This means many people come to work with a cold so as not to “give up” any time. (On a side note, isn’t it funny how the human brain works? I remember right when I started my last job they still had separate “vacation” and “sick” days. I remember people were much more likely to stay home when they were ill because those days didn’t roll over. That January the company changed to combine the vacation and sick days. The number of days given to any one employee didn’t change, they just all because usable for any reason. Way more people started coming to work sick, because they were reluctant to stay home and “waste” vacation days on being sick). And if you do stay home when you’re ill, then some “hardcore” employees look at you like “Suck it up, I do.” I really prefer not to make other people ill when at all possible. Share your scissors, not your germs.

Please don’t get me wrong, I am hugely grateful for my current job. It pays well, I have a lot of time off to take advantage of, and the health benefits are decent. But I feel I’ve paid my dues. I’ve had a job of one sort or another since I was 12. I worked five jobs all through college (RA and Work-study during the school year, busser, swim instructor and drama teacher in the summers). I have frequently worked more than one job at a time (for a year I was the resident stage manager at a local theatre as well as working full time as a theatre technician for a Union house here in Denver). Even in my current position I am frequently called upon to put in mandatory overtime or volunteer for ten hour days. I’m in my 30’s for goodness sake. Not old, per say, but not young anymore either. When is working class America going to stand up and say enough is enough? Everyone should be able to have a steady job, with benefits, vacation and decent pay. Why are we allowing corporations to work us longer and longer hours? Why is it ok? The original Union motto was 8 hours work, 8 hours play, 8 hours sleep. When did that change to 16 hours work at two different jobs with no benefits, 4 hours play and 4 hours sleep? Or no play and 8 hours sleep?

I’m ready to introduce the Latin tradition of the siesta into the American workplace-who’s with me?

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

I woke up one morning this week fat. No other word for it. Not as fat as I used to be, but fat, none the less. I started my most recent weight loss journey in April of this year. To date I have lost 44 lbs. Well, 39 lbs as of the morning I’m referring to (isn’t being a woman AWESOME?) When I stood on the scale that morning I got pissed. And depressed. And sad. But mostly pissed. How dare my body betray me this way? Didn’t it know I wasn’t happy getting bigger? That getting small was the goal here? Ugh. Stupid body. (Yes – I know the weight gain was in direct coloration to my diet habits over the last few days, the large salt content of the previous day’s diet and the current time of the month, but just go with me here, ok?)

So what did I do to defeat my Eeorye mood? I put on my new, never-worn, size 10 (yeah!) skirt. The skirt, although more snug that I usually like my skirts to be, was not uncomfortably tight despite my 4 lb overnight weight gain. That was encouraging. Then I also put on my new, never-worn, size Medium (yeah again!) shirt. I added some high heels and excellent accessories. And when I looked in the mirror I realized I looked great*!

And suddenly I felt great. Even at 171 lbs and change. I looked amazing. I remembered that I am 4 sizes and 39 lbs smaller than I was in January. That there were several inches missing from around my body. And that I felt better, healthier, more fit, than I had in years. I remembered the positives, and forgot about that annoying 171 on the scale. I remembered that I am more than a number on the scale. I am even more that the inches I’ve lost, or the fat girl I’ve been. I am a talented actor. I am an entertaining writer (at least I always entertain myself – if others don’t find me funny it’s none of my business. See Warrior(s)). I am a loyal friend. I am a great daughter. I have great taste in clothes. And none of that has anything to do with how much I weigh or what size I wear. And with a smile on my face I ventured out into the world.

How different might my day have been if I had just sighed and put on schlubby clothes? If had surrendered to the fat? As it was, even though my day was filled with the usual challenges, I still felt good about at least one part of myself. I took control and decided that a stupid number on the scale wasn’t going to ruin my day. I am more than that, much more.

What are you more than?

*This realization might have been a little due to my amazing mirror – those of you who have seen it know what I’m talking about! My coach rules!

Warrior(s)

Have you seen it? Warrior? If not then go. Go. Right. Now.

Have you seen it now? Because I’m serious – you need to. Immediately. Come to think of it, if you have seen it already, go again! Seriously. It’s amazing. Even if you’re not a fan of MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) you will love this movie. Even if you’re a woman (or any sex of person, actually) who’s not a proponent of violence, you will love this movie. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry. It’s awesome.

It is one of those amazingly rare balanced films, where you’re not sure who to root for. Sometimes in films you’re not sure who to root for because you don’t like anyone. Not in this film. In this film you’re not sure who to root for because you love everyone – you want everyone to win. And you know there is no way for everyone to win. Someone has to lose. I love those kind of movies.

Then there are the performances. My god, the performances. They are exquisite. Just heartbreaking. Touching. Heartwarming. All at the same time. My hubs fights MMA and Jennifer Morrison exactly portrays how I feel when he fights. Cheering when he’s winning and closing my eyes when he’s struggling. The agony when I think he’s injured and the joy when he wins. The tension when you’re not able to watch (for whatever reason). Not watching is definitely harder than watching. She’s perfect. And she’s not the only one. They’re all perfect. Bit parts, main roles. Their struggle and humanity are clearly on their faces every step of the way.

And now I’m wondering – why isn’t everyone screaming from the rooftops about this movie?!? It debuted to high hopes, great reviews, and then had an opening weekend of just $5.6 million. Sad stuff. I’m terribly afraid that this spectacular movie will fade into the shadows, overlooked for Oscars, moving to the dollar movie theaters and DVD’s with barely a whisper.

And that would be a travesty. Not only for the reasons mentioned above, but also because of the lessons that came clear to me as I watched it. One of the major themes that I loved in this movie is that we are all Warriors. We are all fighting either for or against something. We’re fighting against a memory, an experience, an action we took, a decision we made. We’re fighting for family, country, ourselves or our loved ones. And sometimes you’re doing both at the same time. You’re fighting against the experience of a childhood with an alcoholic father and for your own family and children. You’re fighting against the memory of a dying mother, or your own dishonorable actions, and for a brother-in-arms. And in the end, it’s way easier to fight for something, than against something.

For a long time I fought against myself. I fought against the experience of a lonely childhood. The memory of being the least popular person in school. Every time I met someone new my first thought would be “I wonder if they’ll like me.” I believed myself to be unlikable, and fought against that belief every day. Or maybe with it. I was surprised every time someone I deemed interesting was interested in me in return. I constantly worried: was I smart enough, funny enough, happy enough, would they see through my facade? Working all the time to be exactly what they needed in a friend, hoping I could fool them so that they would never want to do without me. Hoping I could be perfect.

It’s exhausting. It’s exhausting to fight against yourself. It wore me out day after day. It got harder and harder to smile. I got more and more brittle inside. It was a terrible catch 22. As I got more tired, I became more afraid that the “truth” would show through, that my facade would fail me. So I worked harder on covering things up, and because more tired, and more afraid. And again, and again, and again. I didn’t even know I was doing it. I didn’t even realize how tired I was, stretched thin over my “faults” hoping they wouldn’t show through to the surface. Until someone asked me, “Isn’t it exhausting to put on a happy face for everyone else, every day?”

“It is none of your business what others think of you.” (I love Eleanor Roosevelt). I’d heard that quote before, many times. I’d thought I embraced it, understood it. I was wrong. I finally understand. It’s not my job to be happy for anyone else. I have to be happy for myself. I have had several amazing experiences this year that have finally driven me to fully embrace this concept. It is none of my business what other people think of me. They’re going to think it, regardless. What’s important is what I think of me. Do I think I’m likable, a good person, honest and in integrity with my word? Am I worthy of respect, love, admiration and trust? I can finally stop fighting against a scared little girl, and start fighting for an amazing woman. I can fight for my joy. I can fight for win-win solutions. I can fight for my liberty. I can fight for myself.

I am a Warrior.

What do you fight for?

The Whirlwind Tour…

Wow. What a ride it’s been. For those of you that don’t know the name of the ride is PLD. During the PLD ride I started a business, released 24 lbs and published a book.

In 90 days.

That’s right. 90 days.

The PLD ride is over. Now starts the ride of life. Book Release Party on August 27th-see my FB page for details. Anyone need a Social Media Manager? I have great ideas!

Bring it on!

It’s out there…

the websites are live.

I’m scared to death.

http://www.KateUpLate.com

http://www.UpAfterMidnight.com